Friday, December 14, 2018

The importance of non-verbal communication

You know, something really interesting that occurred to me, is that as a species, we are uniquely disconnected from our "gut feelings" in favor of processing verbal content.
You can see it in "The Dog whisperer", where he shows how dogs can immediately sense people's state of mind, mood, ability to lead, whether or not they are calm, and so on. They can immediately sense and respond to your "energy" through very subtle things like the way you hold the leash, how you breath or how you stand.
Now humans can definitely read all that stuff, and we DO, but we prioritize processing verbal content over this. As a result, we habitually suppress that type of information, or take much longer to pay as much attention to it as the things that are SAID.
One reason is that our mind is complex and has a layer of abstract thought, which is very dominant. Another reason is that CULTURALLY, we teach ourselves to pay attention to words over gestures and non-verbals.
We even have the idea that since we cannot objectively interpret non-verbal cues, that it is best to ignore them. That's why dogs can sense moods so much better than we do.
Let me give you an example... You are shopping at a supermarket late at night. Someone in line behind you starts asking you about the price of products. They are asking you what are you buying and whom you are buying it for. Now the verbal information may be very trivial, but the non-verbal... wooha! Danger Will Robinson! The non-verbal communicates that this person has a right to cross your boundaries without asking permission. If they do this with information, it is a good indication that they can do it physically as well. That's also why a person can spend a long time debating someone else who is treating them as if their life, feelings and well being do not matter, and keep responding to the verbal ideas being put forth. This doesn't just work for negative non-verbals, but for positive ones as well. But as a society, we will tend to deny non-verbals and many times scold someone for making them explicit. We have the habit of lying about them. Because, verifying them is more difficult to do objectively. And if we want to function as a society, we would like to be able to agree on the facts. But - does it serve us, if it can land us in a situation where we accept a truth like: "My feelings don't matter" over facts about China in the 1920's as more important?

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Hiding Our older-Self

I had a thought today. We (people) are often ashamed of how we were like, or things we did as teenagers. Like maybe it was a poem you wrote, which you now think is pretentious or too emotional, or maybe it's your photos where you try to look sexy as hell, or you had your ponytail cover one eye for "cool effect", or maybe it's a love letter you wrote someone which now you think sounds super-naive and silly, your T-shirts that tried to project a certain image to make people like you, or how you recorded yourself singing, thinking you were a world class singer. But my thought was, that maybe those things, which we try to pretend never existed, are actually something to take pride of.
That was a time when we displayed our selves out in the open, naively, without a greater context, without considering or knowing how they will be received. They present some raw sides of us, in a way that today would require much more courage to show. So you may have been silly, but you were out there and you were real. So I think that should count for something.
That said, there are still things I did and wrote/ created back then which I will never show anyone alive now 😂😂
But I wonder if that's the best way to exist.

Consciousness as synchronization (of some kind)

  This might not mean much to you, but, spending a few hours reading about consciousness-related neuroscience today, I had a like, mind-blow...